Приветствую товарищей, today I’m writing a little piece commemorating 100 years since the October Revolution (aptly named due to it taking place between Nov 7-8, 1917) and the rise of Communism— the only good ideology. So gather round, play the Soviet national anthem, and distribute some vodka evenly to your neighbours.
What makes this story such an inexhaustible tale of inspiration for these many years lays at the heart of its hero, Vladimir Lenin. You see, Vlad was a regular guy, like you or me, who saw the suffering of the people around him. And so, he set off on a quest that sparked the fire that tore down the cruel Capitalist system of old Russia and laid waste to the archaic and oppressive Tsardom. It is my hope that one day we, the proletariats of the West, will rise up to tear off our chains and put an end to the Bourgeoisie that use our souls to fuel their self-indulgent campaigns of profoundly immoral greed.
Communism is not the enemy, and more sheep are waking up every day. According to a recent study approximately 44% of American millennials prefer Socialism to the current Capitalistic system. And that number is increasing every day. Looking closely at the history behind us it’s not hard to see why. Russia in 1917, was exhausted by war. Western countries have been heavily active in the Middle East since the U.S. invasion of Afghanistan in 2001. For many millennials, war is all we’ve ever known. There was a massive amount of wealth inequality between the few elite and the poor, huddled masses. Today, the top 1 percent of earners in the US hold 69 times the average wealth of the median household. That same 1 percent owns nearly a third of the entire nation’s financial assets. And with students going into massive debt for basic schooling, it’s no surprise they want others to share the load. And lastly, every millennial appreciates good facial hair. The hipster movement is all about a rocking beard.
You know who else has some pretty spectacular facial hair? Bingo. Who could hate a political leader with a sweet moustache?
So during this special time while we celebrate one of humanity’s most spectacular achievements in geo-politics, I say: here’s to you Western World. Your revolution is just around the corner.